this happens every year, but this time it took longer than usual.
a guy on the local 501st board posted some pics of an early christmas present he got from his grandmother.
my grandmother died in 1994. christmas of 1993, she insisted that she give me my presents on christmas eve, rather than christmas day. our home life was a mess at that point, so i was surprised to get anything at all. i wanted to wait until christmas morning, but she was adamant.
i remember it was a pair of newer stephen king books that i hadn’t read. she had next to no money and wasn’t even able to leave the house without help, so how/where/when she got them remains a mystery. it’s not like there was an amazon.
anyway… i went out that night, like i did every weekend, to rocky horror. i was performing that night.
when i got home, the house was full of emts. she had a heart attack.
it took a long time for me to make the connection, but when she gave me the gifts, she knew. she was probably already having pains… it was not her first, but it ended up being the worst.
my mother took down the christmas decorations that night. she was such a miserable person at that point.
my grandmother was in the hospital for 6 months, and died there. heart attack after heart attack. the entire time i visited once or twice. i was also a miserable person at that point.
so every year i’m reminded that the last thing she ever did was give me a christmas present. he passing was when the last vestiges of a civil relationship between my mother and i ended. now, over a decade later, she’s missing… run away somewhere to avoid her life.
it’s strange… i’ve moved beyond being an emotional wreck over it, but every year around christmas i get uncharacteristically sentimental.
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